Permutatio Corporis-The Exchange of Bodies
by Serafina
Summary: It is their 5th year and Draco is fed up. He decides to get revenge on Harry, Ron, and Hermione and chaos follows. Please R/R
1. A Dragon's Plan

Draco sat on his bed rubbing his head. A large bruise was beginning to form just above his right ear, testament to his crash with Harry Potter in the Quidditch game that had just finished. Gryffindor had won, as always.

_Bloody Gryffindors, always the perfect little students, never in trouble_

It was the middle of Draco's 5th year at Hogwarts school for Witchcraft and Wizardry and it was a fairly good year so far, except for one thing, actually 3 things, Harry Potter, Ron Weasely, and Hermione Granger. Never could Draco remember them getting into trouble, outside of Potions that is. Potions was the one class Draco enjoyed. Not only did he get higher grades than that know-it-all Mudblood, but seeing Snape disparage those horrid Gryffindors made Draco's day.

_Revenge, that's what I need, revenge against Potter and those side-kicks of his,_

Though Draco had decided what he would do, he had no clue how to do it.

_The library must have answers, I'll get Snape to let me into the Restricted Section, there must be some nasty curse I can use_.

Draco gave his bruise one last rub and set off for the library.

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Harry and Ron burst into the Gryffindor common room grinning wildly. The entire House burst into cheers as they hoisted their Seeker and their new Keeper onto their shoulders and tossed them into the air. Even Hermione had put aside her studying to join in the fun.

"What a win, amazing, smashing, specifically, smashing into Malfoy," Dean shouted as he handed Harry some butterbeer, courtesy of Fred, George and the Marauder Map.

"Didja see the look on his face when he clobbered you and you still got the Snitch?" Neville said sighing, "wow, I wish I had my camera."

"Don't worry, Colin had his," Fred said as he passed Neville a handful of photos, all featuring a flabbergast Draco Malfoy and a triumphant Harry Potter.

"Now really, someone could have gotten hu-," Hermione didn't get a chance to finish her statement as Ron and Harry piled on top of her.

"C'mon Hermi, he called you a Mudblood," Ron said, giving her a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"And he's _Malfoy_, honestly Hermi, we're talking about _Malfoy_, besides, he has a very thick head," Harry added thoughtfully, "plus, he crashed into me."

"Yes, but still…" Harry took the opportunity to shove a chocolate frog into her mouth.

Hermione swallowed the frog, glared at Harry, and took his butterbeer to clear out her mouth. Ron, Harry, and Hermione were best friends, nothing more; none of them had significant others, Hermione having broken off with Krum earlier that year. Though there were many many rumors flying around school about the three of them, none of them were true, especially the ones involving Harry and Ron, and most especially the one involving all three of them (they blamed Fred and George for that one).

Hermione had a small crush on Harry, but chose to ignore it in the interest of their friendship. She didn't want to tell Harry she liked him only to find out that he didn't like her; neither did she want to alienate Ron, so she settled for the status of single with two amazing best friends.

As she finished Harry's butterbeer, Ginny walked over and plopped herself down on the arm of Hermione's chair, letting her feet rest on Ron's shoulders below. Ginny had gotten over her crush on Harry and was currently dating Neville. Hermione had gotten close to Ginny over the summer when she had stayed at the Burrow, but she remained closer to Harry and Ron, though Ginny was helpful for 'girl' things. She made that mistake once, trying to explain to Harry and Ron why she was in a 'mood' some weeks, yes, that was a mistake to make once and only once; she still remembered Harry and Ron looking properly mystified and extremely awkward as she tried to talk to them.

The party continued into the wee hours of the morning, until Professor McGonagall stormed into the common room, in the process setting off a bobby trapped portrait hole (courtesy of the twins, of course) and turning into a large, angry, canary. Everyone was forced-marched into their rooms, except for Fred and George who were forced to stay in the common room and clean up.

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The next day was Sunday, the entire school was asleep, tired out by the excitement of the Quidditch match the night before, except for Draco Malfoy. Draco was in the library surrounded by a large pile of books with titles like _Sweet Revenge: A Wizards Guide Of How To Get Even_, and _Gotcha Back: A Beginners Guide To Practical Jokes_. However, nothing seemed satisfactory; Draco needed to do something more than just make their food taste peppery, or make their hair turn purple and grow 5 feet.

_Not that anyone would notice a difference in Granger's hair, pathetic mess that it is_

It wasn't until dinnertime that Draco found a good way to get revenge for all the horrid things Potter, Weasely and Granger had done, starting from that horribly embarrassing ferret incidence and ending with that embarrassing Quidditch loss yesterday.

_Permutatio Corporis_

Draco read the page in the book, grinning happily, like a fox that just caught the rabbit.

**Permutatio Corporis**

This is an advanced charm, useful as a substitution for Polyjuice Potion for long-term use. This charm will cause two people to switch bodies; it lasts for 25 days. There is no known counter-charm and the charm cannot be removed before the 25 days is up, even death will not cancel the charm. This charm must be cast on all the participants at once, preferably when they are isolated so that the charm will not accidentally involve others. The person performing the charm cannot be included in the switching.

Draco sat at the table, reading and re-reading the passage on the charm, memorizing the proper way to cast it. He remained in the library until dinnertime, when Madam Pince made him leave and go to dinner. He faced a tough decision, which two to cast it on. Ron and Harry were out, not much difference between them; he didn't want to do it on Ron and Hermione either, thereby leaving Potter out on the fun; he finally settled on Harry and Hermione.

__

This will be hilarious, I cannot wait to see them

He decided that he would cast the charm the next day after Gryffindors Quidditch practice; Ron, Harry, and Hermione always stayed back, even though Hermione wasn't on the team, she went to every practice to 'support' Ron and Harry. Slytherin had practice after Gryffindor so Draco didn't need to worry about making an excuse for his presence on the pitch.

_Revenge will be sweet_, thought Draco as he headed towards dinner, rubbing the bruise on his head tenderly.

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Hermione sat in the stands watching the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice. She didn't particularly like playing Quidditch, but she had to admit it was fun to watch everyone fly. Having been raised a Muggle, the novelty of people flying hadn't quite worn off yet and Quidditch reminded her how lucky she was to be a witch.

She returned to her Ancient Runes homework smiling. She had set up some wind breaking charms around her so that her parchment would not get blown away, but some wisps of hair still blew into her eyes.

Fred and George, co-captains, blew their whistles, signaling the end of practice. Harry and Ron came down and landed on the pitch, both extremely sweaty and exhausted. Hermione quickly shoved her papers and quill into her book-bag and hurried down onto the pitch.

"Great job, you guys were doing great today," Hermione exclaimed when she came into hearing distance of Harry and Ron.

"Yeah, it would be even better if our captains weren't trying to kill us, honestly they're almost as bad as Oliver," Harry complained, shaking his fist at the twins who were walking over to them.

"Hmm, it seems our Seeker is a tad bit disgruntled today, whatever could be wrong," Fred said grinning.

"Maybe he feels out of practice, Fred, perhaps he and out Keeper need some extra work," George replied.

"How about you two come earlier to next-" Ron hurriedly cut off Fred.

"No No, don't worry about us Fred and George, really, no problem, calm down," Ron said, looking hysterical at the thought of more practice.

Fred and George laughed and walked away to the brook shed to put away their brooms.

"Oh dear, I don't like that laugh, it usually means I'm going to become a guinea pig or something, I'm going to follow them and see what they're up to, meet you in the common room," Ron grabbed Harry's broom and followed his brother's to the broom shed, leaving Harry and Hermione alone on the pitch.

Hermione pulled up her collar trying in vain to shield herself from the wind. Harry picked up her book-bag and they began walking towards the castle, talking about the homework they still had to do.

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Draco saw Harry and Hermione walk together up to the castle from his vantage point under a bush by the pathway from the Quidditch pitch.

_Perfect, absolutely perfect_, Draco though as he aimed his wand.

"Permutatio corporis," Draco hissed quietly. A blue streak of light left the tip of his wand, split into two and hit Harry and Hermione as they passed by Draco's hiding spot. They faltered and collapsed on the ground. The air around them began to shimmer before finally there were two small pops and Harry and Hermione lay still on the ground, in the opposite places from where they had landed a few moments before.

Draco chuckled to himself as he slipped off to Quidditch practice.

A/N: I hope you enjoy this new series of mine, If you do (or even if you don't) please review and tell me why you did or didn't like this chapter. Also, I could use a BETA-Reader, I already have one ::waves and grins at Stella:: but I don't want to overwork her. If you're interested e-mail me (SmallSarah@aol.com), or tell me in your review and I'll contact you (please then leave your e-mail address). I should have Chapter 2 up by Monday.


	2. Culture Shock

Hermione pulled herself up off the ground, dusting dirt and leaves off her maroon Quidditch robes.

_Wait a minute, why am I wearing Quidditch robes, these are Harry's, and why was I on the ground_

Hermione reached up to her face to brush a leaf out of her hair. As she reached over her head she felt something weird on her nose. Wiggling her nose, she realized she was wearing a pair of glasses, Harry's glasses. She quickly looked at her hands and screamed.

"OH MY GOD," Hermione shouted, but everyone had gone into dinner or was too far away on the Quidditch pitch to hear her.

She looked down at her feet and saw herself lying there

_That's probably Harry, why am I him and he me, what is going on?!_

Just then, Harry blinked his eyes and looked up at Hermione.

"What the hell is going on?" he said, looking up at his reflection.

He reached up to fix his glasses, only the find they were not on his face, yet he was seeing fine. The person who looked like him reached down to give him a hand up. He stood up and looked down at his robes. They weren't his Quidditch robes, they were normal school robes. On the left side there was the Hogwarts emblem; above the emblem was a name. Prefect Hermione Granger.

"Oh god, I suppose you're Hermione then," he said to his look-a-like.

"Somehow, very unfortunately, yes," Hermione said grimacing. "It would appear that we've switched bodies."

Harry stared at Hermione, realization washing over him. He was Hermione; Hermione was him.

"How long, is this permanent, why are we each other, whose idea was this, when, AHH," Harry said this all very quickly, running his hands through his hair, only to get them stuck.

"Harry, stop pulling out my hair," Hermione said, laughing a bit, "and I have no clue what happened to us, we should go ask Dumbledore for help, we certainly could use it."

"No wait Hermione, we can't ask for help, we can't tell anyone about this," Harry said, pulling Hermione back.

"Why not? We really need help. Look at us Harry, we've switched bodies for goodness sake, that's not normal. We could have been cursed. WE NEED HELP," Hermione said in a very agitated voice.

"But, but Dumbledore will tell other teachers and they'll never let us just pretend everything is normal and if anyone finds out that I'm stuck as you I'll never live it down," Harry pleaded, "what if Malfoy finds out, or Fred and George, or Ron."

"We have to tell Ron, Harry, it's just not fair to keep him in the dark," Hermione said matter-of-factly, "he's our best friend, besides, he's bound to notice something. He's not blind or deaf, you know."

"Fine, Ron, but that's it, no Dumbledore, or McGonagall, or Lupin, or Sirius, or,"

"Okay Harry, I get the point, but in that case, start calling me Harry and I'll start calling you Hermione," Hermione said, pulling Harry towards the castle for dinner.

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"WHAT!" Ron exclaimed loudly. The three of them were sitting alone in the corner of the common room. Harry and Hermione had just told him of the little problem they had, namely, that they were each other. 

"WHAT!" Ron exclaimed again.

"We just told you, even though I look like Harry, I'm Hermione, and even though she looks likes Hermione she's Harry," Hermione explained exasperated, as it was the 5th time she had to repeat herself.

"But, but, why?" Ron asked.

"We have no idea why, or who, or when, or for how long," Harry said, "but we don't want to tell anyone beside you because neither of us will ever live it down, imagine if Fred and George found out."

"Oh right, that would be rather emotionally scarring if they found out, don't worry, I won't tell anyone," Ron promised, "but how are you two going to live, you know, being each other, you are very different people for god's sake."

"We've talked about this a bit," Hermione said, "we're each going to write our own essays, but then the other one will copy it over so it's in the correct handwriting, and Harry just won't talk in class that much until this wears off."

"Right, and Hermione won't make me look like a know-it-all by answering every question like she normally does," Harry said, ducking quickly to avoid the pillow Hermione threw at him, "and we'll just exchange mail, it's not like either of us gets that much anyway."

"Cool, but what about Quidditch, Hermione can't play," Ron asked.

"We don't quite know yet, I know most of your plays from watching your practices, and you don't have another game for over a month so we'll just hope that we can find a counter-curse before that," Hermione said, "and if we can't, well, just pray I learn quickly."

Ron laughed at the idea of Hermione playing Quidditch and was tackled by Hermione who pinned him to the ground, laughing at Ron. Harry rolled his eyes; it seemed that Ron and Hermione's favorite hobby was bickering, but they never really meant it. Just then Ginny came over and sat down next the Harry, gripping him tightly and dropping her head onto his shoulder.

"Oh my god, Hermione, you were so right in dropping divination, Professor Trelawney is a nightmare," Ginny complained, "we were reading crystal balls today, all mine said was 'it will be foggy'."

Harry relaxed, remembering that Ginny thought he was Hermione and that Ginny was not randomly hugging him, it was just a girl thing. He put his 

arms around her trying to comfort her.

__

When in Rome do as the Romans do; when Hermione do as Hermione does, he thought to himself.

Everyone laughed; none of them liked Trelawney or her smelly attic.

"Yeah, you should drop it too, I'm glad I did," Hermione said.

Ginny sat up, looking puzzled, "what are you talking about Harry, you didn't drop Divination, Hermione did."

"Oh right, what I mean is, umm, I would be glad IF I did, right, yeah," Hermione said hurriedly.

Ginny look confused but nodded. Harry nudged Hermione and glared at her. Hermione grinned nervously; if she made any more stupid mistakes like that she would give everything away for sure. Just then the clock above the fireplace chimed bedtime.

"Hermione, come up with me to the bathroom, I need a shower and I want to talk with you about some things" Ginny said, standing up and beckoning Harry to follow her.

"Actually Ginny, I need to speak with Hermione about our Transfiguration homework, she'll be up soon," Ron said, pulling Harry back down to the floor

"Okay, good-night then, see you at breakfast," Ginny walked up the stairs to the girl's bathroom.

Once Ginny was safely away Harry looked at Hermione and Ron in horror.

"We forgot, how the hell are we going to shower," Harry said in a nervous whisper, "I really don't think that I should use the girl's bathroom."

"What do you intend to do instead, Harry, use the guy's room, how will you explain you being in there, you are a girl now," Ron said, laughing.

"What about me, I can't use the guy's room," Hermione said panicked.

"You two don't have much choice," Ron said, rolling on the floor laughing at the looks of horror on his friends faces, "honestly Harry, you'd think you would be excited at the idea of getting into the girl's bathroom, Fred and George have been trying to do that for ages"

Hermione hit Ron very hard with a pillow.

"This isn't funny Ron, it's very serious, I do not want to see any naked guys, especially you, in the shower," Hermione said.

This sobered Ron up a bit; the idea of Hermione seeing him naked obviously did not appeal to him in the least.

"Oh god, this is horrible, I don't want you to see me undressed," Harry said, "how are we going to avoid this, you probably don't want me to see you either."

"Well, it appears we haven't much choice in the matter, seeing as we are each other, just try to be mature about this Harry," Hermione said, sighing, "and don't go around staring at Lavender or Ginny or anyone, girls DON'T do that."

Ron leapt up and grabbed Harry's collar, "You better not stare at Ginny, as her older brother and protector, I will be forced to kill you very slowly if you do," Ron threatened Harry, "even though you are my best friend," he added as an afterthought.

"Ron, don't worry, I have absolutely no interest in looking at Ginny, I promise," Harry said, "but, please let go of my collar, you're choking me."

"Oh, sorry," Ron dropped Harry.

The three of them got up to go take showers and head to sleep, Hermione with a very determined look on her face, as though determined not to see any of her male classmates undressed and Harry trying very hard, and not succeeding very well, not the grin at the idea of living in the girl's dorm.

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Hermione blinked her eyes a few times to clear the sleep out of them. The world around her remained blurry. She looked around herself at the blurry curtains and glowing stars on the ceiling above her bed.

_Wait, I don't have glowing stars above my bed, we painted those above Harry's…._

Suddenly she remembered the events of the previous day. Reaching over onto her nightstand she put on the pair of glasses that rested there. Pulling herself out of bed she pushed aside the heavy maroon drapes and saw much more of Seamus than she ever wanted to see.

Quickly ducking back inside her bed she buried her face in the pillow trying to forget whatever it was she just saw.

"Umm, Harry, are you okay?" Seamus asked, walking over to the bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine Seamus, thanks, maybe you should put on some clothes though," Hermione said, sitting up and looking at the ceiling.

Seamus looked at her quizzically, but then pulled on his jeans and school robes. He walked over the Ron's bed and hit him to wake him up.

"Wake up sleeping beauty," Seamus called to him as Dean laughed by his bed, "come on Ron, get up, its time for breakfast."

Ron threw his pillow at Seamus, who easily ducked it. Getting out of bed, Ron stretched his long legs and turned around, looking for Hermione. When he verified that she was busy looking in Harry's trunk for clothing, Ron quickly changed into his robes.

Dean, Seamus and Neville headed down for breakfast, but Ron stayed behind to help Hermione find everything. Once everyone else was out of the room he turned to Hermione.

"Need help finding anything? I know where Harry keeps his stuff," Ron asked, dropping to his knees beside Hermione who was busy fishing through Harry's trunk.

"Yes actually, where does Harry keep his comb?" Hermione asked, walking over to the bathroom and looking in the mirror.

"Comb?" Ron asked. "What do you need a comb for?"

"To fix my hair, it's a mess," Hermione said, running her hands through the mess of black hair on her head that rather resembled a messy looking hedgehog.

"No don't, Harry never really combs his hair, that's a girl thing. Besides, you can't tell any difference whether or not Harry combs his hair."

Ron and Hermione headed out of the bathroom down to the common room to wait for Harry.

"This may take a while." Hermione said, making herself comfortable on one of the plush chairs. "Have a seat," she said to Ron.

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Meanwhile, in the girls' dorm, Harry was busy looking through Hermione's trunk for her clothing. He had succeeded in finding a pair of unmentionables, though he had some difficulty with the top piece.

"Why do girls bother with these?" he asked himself as he fidgeted awkwardly.

On the side of the dorm was an enormous mirror, currently Lavender and Parvati were standing in front of it applying makeup with their wands and a dizzying assortment of small pots and brushes. They were currently giggling madly.

Having finally found Hermione's clean school robes he decided that this must be what all girls did, though he couldn't ever remember Hermione looking like she was wearing makeup. He walked over to where Lavender and Parvati were working, took one look at the makeup and decided to ask Hermione about that before he tried anything. The last thing he wanted was to look like an idiot.

Turning to look in the mirror, he realized that his hair was a mess.

_At least something is normal_

Then he realized that Hermione's hair never looked this messy. Walking back over to Hermione's nightstand he picked up her brush and began combing his hair. Since this was a rather lengthy process, he began listening to Lavender and Parvati, who were currently painting their eyelids rather bright shades of lavender and green, respectively.

"Oh I love that color on you Parvati, it is perfect, where did you get it," Lavender exclaimed.

"I got it in a Muggle store in London, isn't it marvelous?"

"Where did you get the idea for green, it's a bit wild"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No"

"Harry"

At this point, Harry fell off Hermoine's bed, landing rather painfully on his side. Both Lavender and Parvati turned to stare at him.

"Hermione? Are you okay?" Lavender asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tripped, I wasn't focusing, thinking about my, umm, homework," Harry quickly stood up and brushed off his robes, "what were you talking about before?"

"Oh, my eyeshadow," Parvati said, "I got it in London this summer."

"Really? It's certainly quite interesting. Why did you said you got the idea from Harry, he's never ever even remotely struck me as the type to wear makeup," Harry said, horrified at the very idea of his wearing makeup.

"Oh no, don't be silly, it's the color of his eyes," Parvati said, returning to applying it liberally on her eyes, "I'm hoping he'll notice me now."

"Oh why, do you have a crush on him?" Harry asked, hoping he sounded innocent.

"Where in the world have you been, Hermione, Parvati only rhapsodizes in nauseating detail about him nightly," Lavender said, emphasizing her words with elaborate gestures.

"Oh right of course, sorry, I'm not myself this morning."

_That is the understatement of the year_ Harry thought to himself wryly as he went down to the common room to meet Ron and Hermione. This would 

certainly be an interesting adventure.

A/N:

Next chapter…Our wonderful trio tries to find out exactly what's happened to them by going to the library (big surprise). There they meet a blond haired devil and our favorite werewolf. 

Please please review, authors like me thrive on reviews. REVIEW


	3. Mistaken Identities

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall discussing their plans for the day. Hermione and Harry had exchanged schedules and were currently moaning over their classes for the day.

"Honestly Harry, why must you take Divination, it is the biggest waste of time on the planet and Professor Trelawney is a total fraud," Hermione complained, waving Harry's schedule in his face and pointing to the square labeled Divination.

"Oh get real Hermione, look who has all these extra classes, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, they all sound so thrilling, I can't wait," Harry said sarcastically.

"What are you talking about, I love Arithmancy, it's exciting and I LEARN something, unlike Divination, I doubt you've ever done anything worthwhile in that class," Hermione said, picking up her bookbag. "Well, are you coming?"

"Where?" Ron asked.

"To the Library," Hermione responded.

"Obviously, this is Hermione we are talking about, where else would she be going," Harry said, picking up his bag, which was currently full of extra books for Hermione's extra classes.

_God, this is heavy, she really needs to cut back on the workload_

"Shut up Harry, we need to find out what this curse or charm on us is, I don't much fancy living in your dorm room for the rest of the year!" Hermione began walking out of the Great Hall towards the Library, Ron and Harry trailing behind her.

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Classes had just ended for the day and the trio was once again meeting in the Library. Their previous trips had proven fruitless so they were back, sitting once again at the table in the corner, avoiding Madam Pince who had already threatened to send them back to their dorms if they did not stop talking. Being barred from the Library was the last thing Harry and Hermione needed at the moment.

They were surrounded by various books on such topics as Human Transfiguration, Physical Appearance Magic, and various books on assorted and sundry curses, charms and whatnot. Ever once in a while one of them would find a particularly hilarious or ridiculous spell and they would read it out to the others.

"Hey, listen to this one, _palpebra pigmentum mutate_, it's a charm that changes the color of your eyelid, this book even lists 243 colors you use. Who would need to change the color of their eyelid." Ron asked, waving a book entitled _DIY Makeup: A Witch's Guide to Changing Her Appearance_.

Recalling the events in Hermione's dorm room that morning Harry said, "I think it's a girl thing."

He quickly ducked to avoid any flying objects that would be thrown at him by Hermoine, but she was engrossed in a book entitled _Human Transfiguration: A Beginners Guide_. She did not appear to have even heard either of them.

They remained in the Library until it was nearly dinner time, finding nothing helpful except a few humorous charms (the funniest was one that would cause a person to blow multicolored bubbles out of their mouth whenever they opened it). Just as they were about to leave, Harry spotted Professor Lupin, their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, returned after a one year leave of absence, walking among the stacks, apparently looking for something or someone. Harry stood up to wave to him and he hurried over, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh, hello everyone, doing homework I presume?" Lupin said, eyeing the stacks of books on the table, "you're just the people I needed to find."

"Oh really, what for?" Hermione said, finally tearing herself away from the book she had been reading.

"Actually, Harry, you're the person I was looking for, and don't worry, you're not in trouble. I just wanted to speak with you for a few minutes about something."

"Okay, um, can Hermione and Ron come too?" Hermione asked, looking at Harry who just shrugged.

"No, I'd really rather prefer if I had this conversation just with you. Don't worry, you can tell them all about it afterwards," Lupin shuffled his feet, "if you really want to, that is."

Hermione followed Professor Lupin out of the Library and towards his office. When they reached his office, Lupin pulled off his cloak and sat down at his desk, motioning for Hermione to do the same. After Hermione was seated comfortably, Lupin began to speak.

"Well," Lupin cleared his throat, "I'm not quite sure where to begin for a conversation like this, but I guess I should start with a small disclaimer. First, this is entirely Sirius' idea, though I think he does have a point in wanting to speak to you about this, and second, this should be entirely James' job, but he obviously is not in a position to do this."

"Excuse me Professor, what are you talking about?" Hermione was genuinely confused by her Professor's behavior.

"You see, Harry when two people like each other enough, and enjoy each others company, they tend to express this love in rather, uh, physical ways. This is especially true among teenagers, such as yourself, and teenagers don't always know what is safe and appropriate."

A sense of dread washed over Hermione.

_Oh My God, I'm going to get The Talk from Professor Lupin_

"Professor, I already know about sex. Really, I outgrew the stork thing a while ago; I know the whole story of where babies really come from."

Lupin laughed nervously, but he looked noticeably relaxed.

"Well then, I can just skip over the biology lesson, and move right onto the warnings and threats. Please Harry, for my sake and for Sirius' sake, do not do anything stupid with Hermione; do not have sex, do not get even remotely close to having sex, and please, if you're doing anything involving less than 6 pieces of clothing do not tell Sirius or I."

"What would make you think I would do anything with Hermione? I don't have those sort of feelings for her."

_At least, I think Harry doesn't have those feelings for me; I have them for him somewhat, but he doesn't have them for me_

"You're 15 now Harry; you are changing both physically and emotionally, even though that is the way you feel about her now, things might change in the future, I'm just warning you to be careful, you don't need her parents trying to kill you, enough people are already attempting that at the moment."

"Don't worry Professor; you have my promise," Hermione said, "but you might want to speak with her about this too."

Professor Lupin paled noticeably at the thought of explaining the birds and the bees to a 15 year old girl.

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Meanwhile, back in the Library, Ron and Harry were making no progress. They had covered nearly 25 books already and had found no mention of a curse that would cause two people to switch bodies. Frustrated and tired, they slowly began putting the books they had looked through back onto the shelves they belonged on. As they were finishing up and getting ready to head back to the Gryffindor common room, Draco Malfoy sauntered into the library and walked straight towards them.

"Well, look what we have here, Mudblood and the Weasel," Draco said, smirking, "where's Potter, In detention with Snape?"

"Get away from us Malfoy, I notice that bruise on your head is gone," Ron said, clenching his fists, "pity you missed the Snitch, oh wait, it's not a pity at all."

"Oh shut up Weasel," Malfoy said, stepping closer to Ron. "Just out of curiosity, what did you have to pawn to get that new broom of yours, I don't imagine your house would go for enough gold to buy it. What did you have to do? Sell off your sister to the highest bidder?"

Ron turned bright red. Harry laid his hand on Ron's shoulder to hold him back and prevent any fight from breaking out in the library.

"Oh, look how sweet, Mudblood Granger to the rescue, doesn't want her boyfriend to get himself hurt, oh, but isn't Harry your boyfriend, or is it both?" Draco smirked at him.

Harry took one step forward and punched Draco hard on the nose. Draco stumbled backwards a bit, mumbling something that sounded vaguely like "yup, it worked, only Potter would hit like that, ow dammit". Neither Harry nor Ron heard him because at that moment, Madam Pince materialized right behind them. She grabbed their robes and dragged them out of the library, scolding them loudly.

"Miss. Granger, I do not believe this, a Prefect fighting in the Library, and you of all people ought to know better than that," Madam Pince hauled them out of the door, "just because I heard that last comment of Mister Malfoy I will not be giving either of you a detention, but that is still no excuse for violence, 25 points from Gryffindor and do not reenter my Library until you feel you are able to control your behavior!"

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"Harry, really, you've got to act a little more like a girl," Hermione said after Ron and Harry had explained what had happened in the library, "if anything, slap him, don't punch him."

They were all sitting on Ron's bed in the boy's dorm in an attempt to get some privacy. Hermione had been a little hesitant for all of them to stay in the boys dorm until Ron pointed out that Harry was a guy and she was sleeping there anyway.

"Fine fine Hermione, next time he acts like a stuck-up ninny I'll slap him, would that please you," Harry said sarcastically.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"By the way, what did Professor Lupin need to speak to Harry about? Is he in danger or something?" Ron asked.

Hermione started laughing, and had to wait a bit before answering Ron.

"No, not at all, Sirius and him had just decided that Harry needing The Talk," Hermione said, "he just wanted to explain everything to Harry and warn him not to have sex with me."

Ron and Harry burst out laughing.

"Honestly? What did he say?"

Hermione put on her best Lupin imitation and repeated what he had said to her earlier. Ron and Harry began laughing so hard that Dean and Seamus came into the room to see what was wrong.

"Hey, Hermione, what are you doing in our room?" Dean said, pulling back the drapes on Ron's bed.

"Yeah, you're a girl, you shouldn't be in here," Seamus said.

The three of them exchanged glances. Harry reluctantly got off the bed and went to his, actually, Hermione's, dorm as it was close to bedtime. As he walked across the common room, he thought about what Lupin had told Hermione.

_Why would they think I would do anything with Hermione? We're just friends after all. Aren't we?_

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The next day, while Hermione and Ron were in Divination, Harry was sitting alone in the common room near the fire. He was reading another Library book trying to find what curse had been used to make him and Hermione switch bodies.

_Not that this hasn't been an 'educational' experience. I never knew Parvati was so obsessed with me._

Harry chuckled to himself at the thought of Parvati. Every night so far she had gone on and on about everything he had done, every time he looked at her, and especially every time he touched her.

_If only she knew that for the past week the person she thinks is Harry Potter has actually been Hermione, and the person she's been explaining this all to has been Harry, not Hermione._

"Hi Hermione, what are you reading," Ginny had just come in through the portrait hole, followed closely by Ron and Hermione.

"Oh nothing really," Harry said, shoving the book into his bag, "just doing some of my work."

Ron, Hermione and Ginny sat down near him by the fire. Ron and Hermione began complaining about Divination.

"My god, Trelawney was worse than usually," Ron said, "she predicted that Harry would die again."

Harry laughed, "oh really, what is it this time? Death by asphyxiation from the incense in that attic of hers?"

"Probably; I really regret talking that class," Ginny said, "I'm actively considering switching out, except it's so easy to get good marks."

"Definitely switch out, you're smart enough to get good marks in another subject, unlike those two," Harry said, pointing at Ron and Hermione, who each threw pillows at him, Hermione's hitting especially hard.

"I suppose so," Ginny said, "uh, Hermione, could I speak with you for a moment please?"

"Sure, go ahead, why not?" Harry said.

"In private, we could go up to my dorm, it's about what we were talking about a week and a half ago," Ginny said, winking in Hermione's direction.

Harry followed her up to her dorm, thoroughly confused.

_Oh dear, how am I going to get through this, she was speaking to Hermione, not me; I have no clue what this is about; I'll blow our cover for sure._

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Hermione lay in bed later that evening trying to remember what she had been speaking to Ginny about a week and a half ago. When she had asked Harry he had just shrugged off her question saying they had been talking about the possibility of Ginny dropping Divination. Hermione was suspicious. Why would Ginny need to talk about that in private?

She thought about it for a long time, long after everyone else in the dorm had fallen asleep. Listening to Ron's rhythmic breathing from his bed next to her she realized what she had been talking to Ginny about.

It had been at the Quidditch match against Slytherin; she and Ginny had been sitting in the stands, watching Ron and Harry fly. Ginny had seen her watching Harry throughout the entire game. After the game, Ginny had cornered her in the common room.

_"Hermione, I need to talk to you," Ginny had said, pulling Hermione down onto the couch next to her, "I saw you watching Harry at the game today."_

"So," Hermione had responded, "that's what you do at Quidditch matches; you watch the players."

"No, you know what I mean, Hermione, you didn't take your eyes off of him for a second."

"Ginny, what are you implying?"

"Listen, I know what people act like when they have crushes on people, and you were acting like I was in my first year."

Hermione had flushed bright red

"So, what I'm asking you is: Do you have a crush on Harry?"

"Possibly."

"Aha, I knew it; you should ask him out, I'm sure he'd say yes."

"No, he really doesn't like me like that, plus, I don't want to leave Ron out."

"Yeah right, I'm sure he'd say yes in an instant. Why wouldn't he?"

Just then Hermione had been saved by Fred and George, who had snuck up on the girls from behind, scaring them.

"Remember Hermione, we haven't finished this conversation, we'll talk again next week, and don't worry, I won't forget," Ginny had said before dissolving into laughter as Fred (or George) had started tickling her.

Hermione lay in bed staring at the ceiling.

"Oh dear," Hermione whispered to herself, "I really hope I'm wrong."


End file.
